youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
