put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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