i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
