i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
