how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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