He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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