if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
