no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
