i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue