Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she woke up with a sticky ear

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  (732): she woke up with a sticky ear http://tfl.nu/pkqo
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (1880)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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  (402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over. http://tfl.nu/b7hl
  Replies (62) Good night (8040) Bad night (953)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???

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  (602): Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby??? http://tfl.nu/31ox
  Replies (41) Good night (674) Bad night (3341)
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  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

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  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (79) Good night (52716) Bad night (2239)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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  (917): still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v49x
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (3704)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (7968) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.

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  (516): i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me. http://tfl.nu/fl66
  Replies (9) Good night (2650) Bad night (946)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis

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  (603): it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis http://tfl.nu/b4c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1317) Bad night (2505)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.

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  (330): Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in. http://tfl.nu/l5u1
  Replies (8) Good night (3642) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.

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  (306): He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call. http://tfl.nu/bo9m
  Replies (2) Good night (1818) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.

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  (612): Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ms67
  Replies (3) Good night (1859) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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  (863): It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job. http://tfl.nu/q4uy
  Replies (9) Good night (2347) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

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  (814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej
  Replies (10) Good night (1724) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.

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  (307): Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/w9b1
  Replies (2) Good night (1642) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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  (360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g
  Replies (5) Good night (499) Bad night (814)

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