Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone. http://tfl.nu/3kwt
  Replies (42) Good night (743) Bad night (3596)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty. http://tfl.nu/kgia
  Replies (34) Good night (11743) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries. http://tfl.nu/yhvv
  Replies (12) Good night (6469) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v
  Replies (40) Good night (3244) Bad night (6909)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (3415)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4583) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are. http://tfl.nu/448e
  Replies (11) Good night (1623) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (1798)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1359) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men http://tfl.nu/fivt
  Replies (14) Good night (901) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW http://tfl.nu/rle5
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  7) Noodle arms: engage

  (269): View more from Michigan

  The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): 1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all. (269): 7) Noodle arms: engage (269): The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right. http://tfl.nu/5w2m
  Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag. http://tfl.nu/q8nn
  Replies (10) Good night (819) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries http://tfl.nu/429z
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (203)

Randomize