Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced

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  (419): watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced http://tfl.nu/2xlb
  Replies (35) Good night (822) Bad night (3176)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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  (313): I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son. http://tfl.nu/7jxb
  Replies (13) Good night (684) Bad night (2471)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (873) Bad night (3661)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  No, drunk sperm still make babies.

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  (913): No, drunk sperm still make babies. http://tfl.nu/xn33
  Replies (15) Good night (1007) Bad night (5571)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon

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  (561): I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon http://tfl.nu/z2jl
  Replies (21) Good night (4843) Bad night (551)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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  (440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait
  Replies (25) Good night (23973) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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  (218): If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air? http://tfl.nu/c5re
  Replies (35) Good night (4820) Bad night (1289)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1752) Bad night (596)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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  (540): how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove. http://tfl.nu/z4wf
  Replies (10) Good night (1471) Bad night (537)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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  (310): I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass http://tfl.nu/6152
  Replies (6) Good night (1853) Bad night (551)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (655) Bad night (607)
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  (527): View more from

  I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.

  (1-527): View more from

  Top night. Top night.

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  (527): I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered. (1-527): Top night. Top night. http://tfl.nu/68t6
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome

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  (207): But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome http://tfl.nu/qpzb
  Replies (8) Good night (643) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport

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  (415): God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport http://tfl.nu/tt1b
  Replies (3) Good night (243) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad

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  (402): I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad http://tfl.nu/j5m4
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (467)

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