there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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