Everything about him screamed your future.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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