Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
