She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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