u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
