I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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