wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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