The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
