Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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