Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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