and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
