Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
