no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
