am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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