did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
