What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
