Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
