Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
