Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
