Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
