go do what you do best...puke behind churches
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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