I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
