so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your cock deserves a montage
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
