Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
