his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
