After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
