You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
