You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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