She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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