A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
