no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
