If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
