Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
