I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
