I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
