So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
