we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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