Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize