Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
