Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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