dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Blood and glitter go together right?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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