I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
