Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
