Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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