what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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