Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
