he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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