Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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