i just wanna soil my oats bro
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
