batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
