Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
